Changing

My heart’s in knots
It tripped over itself last night
And the night before
Where it wished to be somewhere else
With someone else
Instead it’s stuck here
You think it’s safe and warm
Tucked in for the night
Between my ribs
Beating comfortable
But no,
It’s beating uncontrollably
You can’t even hear it
Because you don’t even try
You can’t read the room
If you could you’d know why
You’d see the wayward tear
You’d feel the stiffness in my kiss
You’d understand
Sleeping next to you can’t fix this
Sleeping with you inside me won’t fix us
Stop prying me open
Stop trying to ask me when
It’ll all be the way it was
Before my heart changed colors
Before it wanted to leave this behind
Before it wanted you to leave my mind
Before you forced your brand of love
Before that changed me
Took away what I was
Molding me into what you want
Stripping away the wings of this dove
Leaving me helpless
So I'd need your shove
I curl up and whisper
I need a different love