love vested

 
I am needy
ripe with a greed that can be quieted but not silenced
and everyone knows I'm hungry
you can see it in my eyes

I try to appear laid back
but anxiety makes me seem desperate
and perhaps I am just that
I hate needing anyone
I hate my need

I don't want affections with price tags I can't afford
I don't want your time invested in me
if I'm a falling stock

I just want to be indifferent
but my sorrow shackles me to your desires
I see the love in your eyes
and I know I'm failing you

there is nothing normal about me
at best I am a mimic
miming humanity

my heart feels pain
and I sympathize for your hurt
but I will make you no promises
when I can't trust me with me
I won't have another heart tattooed on my soul
should I let you down and I will

I feel so much
I love so completely
so once I'm down the road you will haunt me
but I can't help but thinking
you were better off without me

why does love come with conditions?

ones I will never be able to live up to
I have loved you utterly

I'm falling do you see?

catch me before dark cynicism settles on me forever
because I do love you irrecoverably