Distractions, They Never Work

I watch them to distract myself,
To occupy my mind.
To keep me from the thoughts,
That fill my head.
But they do not always work,
They make it worse.
Whether it's the themes of loneliness,
Using, or death.
It always hits the wrong chord,
Always makes me wonder.
I watch the same movies,
The same shows.
Why do I not learn,
That they put me in these moods?
It's never ending,
It's never changing.
The end is inevitable,
As the end always is.
It's just a matter of time,
Before I have the supplies.
And make the final decision.