Possibilities

after all this time, why now?
 
pride is a heavy thing  
attached to me like a dark cloak
underneath which I hide  
to conceal my heart  
as it hangs from my chest  
 
how could I ever trust you again?
 
I'm not even certain  
that I trust myself  
or these treacherous things  
I have been thinking lately  
but I am willing to give  
everything to you
holding on to the hem  
of Jesus' garment  
 
you're nothing but a junkie
 
that fear cripples me  
each and every day I wake up  
even when a stone cold sober me
stares back in the mirror  
I feel empty without you  
and the beauty we created  
 
why only when I find another?
 
a sense of regret and terror  
grips me with an iron fist  
and won't let go  
I see her beauty  
and shrink back thinking  
about the ugliness of things  
I've done  
then you catch my eye  
from across the room  
and I want is to kiss you  
 
will you marry me?
 
yes. a thousand times yes.