Spread

but you've overused the word 'spread'
would have been better if it came just once or never at all. fitting erotica btw.

Thanks Dennis. Perhaps it's too short for my intended purpose: to use "spread" in three contexts. 1 The sexual act, 2 The sense of being dilluted or destroyed and 3 Spread like wings. The spread wings seemed too cliche so I moved it to the shadow of the rising birds that spreads. I'll look into remedying that.
 
All of the reads this poem is getting seems a strange mixed blessing. One half a day on the site and it already has more reads than "Pass," "July," "Feast," "Searching," or "Gravity," poems that I slaved over for months. Not that I didn't  put any work into this, but the interest in it is simply prurient. All based upon a parental warning and a little icon of two blobs hugging each other. Damn it I'm going to have to categorize every poem this way. I'll just tack a final line onto each: "... and then we fucked." I think I'll have a little fun with this. Stay tuned. The sequel will punish the wicked. Tonight I'll unleash a new poem "Rape Island."

lol bro... the reason this poem got more views is bcuz there are pervs everywhere... :P
if it has sex it's got the worlds attention.
mind you this isnt a bad thing. but it's a form of discrimination against talent.
so you're on a poetry site... oh wait... it's got artistically written porn... and bam... instant views.

if half the ppl read the real poems this would be a much more different place. :P

I like that you end this poem with an image of spring. It symbolised, for me, rebirth, as though the narrator has been born again through the act of love making. 
The last line of the second verse is lovely. It made my heart ache for the poor, naive chap.
Thanks for the read.

Thank you much for the comment Jack. Very insightful and very much appreciated. Though I thought it was straight forward I received scant few comments. I even thought about removing it. I am a happier fellow now.

Though I'm still tinkering with the 1st stanza. I'm satisfied other two except for 1 or 2 words. 

I'm not a pervert I swear. Look, I'll even leave a comment:

The word spread interested me, because it's something that sounds so vulnerable while also being unashamed. I like how in the first verse that word gave me mixed images of eating something (in the way that a spread is like a feast) alongside images of sex. And the sound of that word 'insular' following after all those other 's' sounds in that verse creates this sense of it wrapping round you, just like the way sleep does. One of those words that's good enough to eat...if that doesn't sound too strange.
I really like when people interchange images of landscape with the human body, so when I read 'earthy fields' I pictured abdomens and stretches of skin, which I really liked...that's the sort of imagery you can roll around in.

Thank U Merda for your comments.I'm not so much worried about pervs now. It was my first poem posted in the erotic category and I was just a bit shocked at the # of views. I'm comfortable with that now. Thanks also for caring about the assonance and consonance. I don't get a lot of comments on that. I was playing with the words and they did seem so earthy and sensual I wanted to roll around in their clay as well, so I did.

There is an elegance hidden here beneath a ratty trenchcoat.

The elegance is the single, pure vision, the one thought you carried through.

There's something clunky in the opening stz, it's almost too much? Hm. (Are you mowing a lawn? I'm trying to figure out the pattern...)

It's cool and I like it!

Ok I get it. "Crashing, uninspired, but devoted should not be realized in the rhythm. Mowing the lawn Betty.... thanks. Thank you dear for this solicited journey with comments.

I thoroughly enjoyed the, slightly abstract, imagery and the lines below hit a chord with me.

"like love seeking to beat
a reciprocal confession"

Keep it up.

Duncan

This piece is a beautiful piece of Art, well done!