deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Email
Talk about internet trolls. Today is the fifth anniversary of the fire and I get this totally sick email.
Thinking Of You, the subject reads.
A bit odd, but I open the email anyway, despite not recognising the name of the Sender. I gape. Is this someone's idea of a joke? Or am I dreaming? No way would a normal person write a message like this:
I passed you on the street the other day but you didn't recognise me. Your name is Gavin Montgomery and you're twenty-three-old. Your parents live in Doncaster and they have one other son who's a couple of years older than you. His name is Kieran and he's a builder, like your dad. Your mother's called Margaret and she uses hair dye to colour the grey. She does this about once every six weeks. She's allergic to pineapple. See how much I know about you.
Your grandmother died when you were fifteen but your mum's father is still alive. He serves tea at the local pensioner's club and helps prepares the lunches once a month. He has liver spots on both hands, but otherwise looks good for his age. Your parents wanted you to return home after the Fire, but you and they knew you couldn't face it, so they agreed you could get a place a few streets away and your brother Kieran helped you move in.
Your home is a bedsit off Whittaker Lane, close to the shops, and you haven't worked or studied since the Fire five years ago. You drink beer in huge quantities when you think no one's watching, but you don't touch lager or wine. Why is that? You prefer metal combs to plastic combs and you hate the colour black. We both know why. You like pizza but not chips. You like your veg but not your fruit. Surprising, all things considered. Your parents live in a semi-detached house and their neighbours have a cat that died recently. They buried the cat in the back garden, by that tree. Remember the tree? Remember the cat? The tabby one, white with a black bib? You ought to, because I killed it.
Your first serious girlfriend was called Trudie and she two-timed you with one of your mates. His name was Steve and you've never really forgiven him for that, have you? What else do I know about you? Let's see. You have a scar from when they removed your appendix after it nearly burst when you were eleven and you sleep with the light on because you suffer from nightmares. You purchased a meal for one at Tesco's last night and paid for it with cash. You went straight home, stopping twice to read a text. You recently bought an iPad. You used to play the cello and guitar, but not anymore.
Well, I could go on and on, but I think that's enough for now. I suppose you must be curious about who I am. All will be revealed, but for now I trust that we can be friends,
Looking forward to getting to know you,
Boo!
Thinking Of You, the subject reads.
A bit odd, but I open the email anyway, despite not recognising the name of the Sender. I gape. Is this someone's idea of a joke? Or am I dreaming? No way would a normal person write a message like this:
I passed you on the street the other day but you didn't recognise me. Your name is Gavin Montgomery and you're twenty-three-old. Your parents live in Doncaster and they have one other son who's a couple of years older than you. His name is Kieran and he's a builder, like your dad. Your mother's called Margaret and she uses hair dye to colour the grey. She does this about once every six weeks. She's allergic to pineapple. See how much I know about you.
Your grandmother died when you were fifteen but your mum's father is still alive. He serves tea at the local pensioner's club and helps prepares the lunches once a month. He has liver spots on both hands, but otherwise looks good for his age. Your parents wanted you to return home after the Fire, but you and they knew you couldn't face it, so they agreed you could get a place a few streets away and your brother Kieran helped you move in.
Your home is a bedsit off Whittaker Lane, close to the shops, and you haven't worked or studied since the Fire five years ago. You drink beer in huge quantities when you think no one's watching, but you don't touch lager or wine. Why is that? You prefer metal combs to plastic combs and you hate the colour black. We both know why. You like pizza but not chips. You like your veg but not your fruit. Surprising, all things considered. Your parents live in a semi-detached house and their neighbours have a cat that died recently. They buried the cat in the back garden, by that tree. Remember the tree? Remember the cat? The tabby one, white with a black bib? You ought to, because I killed it.
Your first serious girlfriend was called Trudie and she two-timed you with one of your mates. His name was Steve and you've never really forgiven him for that, have you? What else do I know about you? Let's see. You have a scar from when they removed your appendix after it nearly burst when you were eleven and you sleep with the light on because you suffer from nightmares. You purchased a meal for one at Tesco's last night and paid for it with cash. You went straight home, stopping twice to read a text. You recently bought an iPad. You used to play the cello and guitar, but not anymore.
Well, I could go on and on, but I think that's enough for now. I suppose you must be curious about who I am. All will be revealed, but for now I trust that we can be friends,
Looking forward to getting to know you,
Boo!
Published 9th Jan 2022
Author's Note
Found this old story I wrote dating back about 10 years....
Thriller, set in the North of England
Thriller, set in the North of England
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 2
comments 11
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9th Jan 2022 00:27am
Ohhh... so creepy and slow laboring in a great and chilling way that builds anticipation! It feels like there's so much potential that can be flushed out; filled with enormous possibilities and awesome twists and turns to create a piercing and fresh psychological thriller!
Just loved the feel you generated. I'm glad you found it and ended up posting!
🌹 - B
Just loved the feel you generated. I'm glad you found it and ended up posting!
🌹 - B
9th Jan 2022 9:43pm
Thanks very much for your comments, Bluevelvete. It's always surprising to look back at writing from a previous decade (I guess 2011/12 is previous) and feel the narrative., plus observe the strengths and weaknesses.
Best wishes, Lawrence
Best wishes, Lawrence
9th Jan 2022 00:29am
9th Jan 2022 9:36pm
9th Jan 2022 8:10am
Very much enjoyed.
I like stories that incorporate the technological setting of the modern world.
Nicely done.
I like stories that incorporate the technological setting of the modern world.
Nicely done.
9th Jan 2022 9:34pm
Many thanks, Cipher. And I share your like of stories placed within the context of modern technology.
Dear L,
Stalker creepy. Love it. The fine details are what get me every time. Your attention and talent for this is what keeps your reader engrossed from start to finish.
H🌷
Stalker creepy. Love it. The fine details are what get me every time. Your attention and talent for this is what keeps your reader engrossed from start to finish.
H🌷
11th Jan 2022 1:08am
9th Feb 2022 10:56pm
Very good read.
Your way of pulling the reader into the story itself is a true gift.
Your way of pulling the reader into the story itself is a true gift.
10th Feb 2022 00:08am
22nd Mar 2022 10:31am
Wow ok that would terrify me and I don't scar that easy at all but that is scary as hell .. I need to know more did you get another one or ever find out who sent it.
