Neverings

Lives are full of neverings    
We tell ourselves true love never dies  
We'll never grow old    
Skies will never fall    
We tell ourselves such beautiful lies    
    
And I search among the scattering    
Of memories lingering here or there    
For the bits and pieces still colored by meanings    
I balance on the sighing of the breeze    
Believing somewhere somebody cares    
   
And yet knowing the truth is something more    
   
I come to you parched white and peeling    
Liking eggs and sausage - juice, no coffee    
Not breakfast but brunch, about mid morning    
I'm an old soul, the lustre is off now    
Well worn like old wood    
The rich golden of old yellow pine    
And soft as that too    
Having learned to roll with the punches    
Not stand toe to toe, blow for blow    
Not chipped and chiseled by life's hard knocks    
But seeking the path of least resistance    
Like the river flows    
Always seeking the sea longing of my soul    
   
In silence I died the stoic's death long ago    
So you might not have heard    
And the martyrs death too    
Littered in knowing protestations of innocence    
Some age before that    
You see, I have lived ages and lives    
Reincarnated    
Incarnated    
Incarcerated    
Time, lives, feelings, lose meanings in some things    
Lessons learned and moved on    
And yet, the familiar aches and pains    
The old, still favorite things    
Premonitions, deja-vu  
The discovered which makes us, us    
   
Yet levels and layers of mystery remain    
Lives are like phases of the moon    
Waxing and waning, empty and full    
I have learned distance in closeness    
And closeness in distance    
Paradoxical things    
But on another level, simply breathing    
   
I like candles and bonfires in remembrance of torchlight    
And first primal fires    
Rubbing two sticks together    
Learning kindeling, as did we    
Naked and fierce in that first glow    
Those first throes    
That first spark that raged the flame to roar    
   
You are my book of breathing    
The incantation of my thoughts    
- you say never? Yet ever    
In imaginings and sweet dreamings,    
The hazy distance of half forgotten memories    
You are and were, and will yet be again    
A part of me, the always of us    
   
The bright laughter of childhood's smile    
The tender vining of green youth's dance    
The deep plowed seeding of womanhood's spring    
Ah! The rich earthy clutch and musk of deep forested meanderings    
In greens and clear running streams    
Among flower strewn glades    
The call of the sea, the birth of all life    
The touch like last frail leaf trembling in winter's fell chill    
Yet, never comes an end    
   
You are my seasons    
The passing and rebirths    
Lives together, sometimes separating    
Other lives knowing only the searching    
The need of you just out of reach    
All teaching the height and depth of love    
My truest need    
Near or far, the bad times forgot    
In the always of us