Trying To : Hold It Together

I….
I’m still here
Holding on
Being strong
For my mother’s sake
I can smile
Laugh
Hold conversations
Giving those
Who knows me
A sense
That I’m holding it together
But deep inside
I’m grieving
Profoundly
Not a day
Since Tuesday
I haven’t shed a tear
Cried at stoplights
Stop signs
In traffic
In my bed
Or wherever I shall be
Just a particular thought
Or listening to others
Can trigger my emotions
And then I flood
My eyes with burning tears
But in my mind
I’m alright
But behind close doors
I sink in sorrow
For a moment
At a time
And then….
Like the sunrise
After a rainy day
I rise
And go about my day
Hiding my weakness
Thinking
I will get through this
When
I don’t have a clue
But hopefully
One day soon