A Sign

I'm on my knees praying for the last time
I only pray that I can do it with a clear heart and mind
To beg forgiveness for all that I've ever done
I'm faced with a time I thought would never come

On my way to my Father's house for the first time
And I hope that I won't be seeing my lord for the last time
But how can I beg to enter his house
When the words of my deeds start to come out

Begging forgiveness for the times I didn't ask
Even though I was taught better, I performed Satan's task
For the times that you knew that I wore a mask
Proclaiming myself as the one who'll always stand fast

For the times I ignored the facts
At times a follower, other times leading the pack
Always singing the same old song
"If you'll just help me, I'll stay strong"

Swearing by all that was and is holy
That I'm dedicated to you solely
Loyal as long as my troubles persist
But once tempted, I couldn't resist

I forgot all promises of retribution and change
Determined once more to bring you shame
For all that you did to relieve my pain
Even though you knew that you had nothing to gain

You simply couldn't stand to see me suffer
Shielding me from harm, my buffer
Knowing that no matter how much you had to shine
My tarnish would return, all mine

To remember each and every lie
Turning my head to keep from seeing you cry
Realizing what I'm doing each and every time
But I was to caught up in the crime

I could see but I just couldn't feel
Preferring my imaginary world to the real
Now realizing what Satan eventually captured
He didn't have to steal, I was to caught up in the rapture

I was willing to give something that wasn't mine
I was looking for clues that I didn't have to find
Obsessed with myself and what I considered my dues
I was overlooking what was in plain view

The unsurpassed limits of your wisdom
The way that my world operated with precision
The love for me that went into every decision
And your ability to see through my oblivion

Even for when you listened, when no one else had the time
For every indication that I was still on your mind
For helping me to complete this line by line
I now realize that there was always a sign