Moments in my day

Moments in my day
written August 7th, 2021
 
1.
I wake up
and look out the window
at the morning sun
shining through the leaves.
 
I look out the window again
and it is the dusk sky of day's end.
The day has gone somewhere
to someone.
 
2.
I sit and stare out the
half-circle window.
Somehow I
have arrived here
so I stay.
I'm not sure
where or when I am.
I don't move.
I wait for someone
to say it is ok
and hope
they don't notice me
if it is not.
 
3.
I am writing
about touching a man.
I write: "I grab him by the...."
and stop to think about what word to write.
One of the others inside boisterously says
It's an ass, grab him by the ass
it can't be those other words,
grab him by the ass!
I blush and don't write
"bottom" or "tushy" or "buttocks"
I write: "I grab him by the ass."
The other is satisfied
and lets me continue on my own.
 
4.
I am suddenly in the body.
I am in bed with a man.
The others don't let me out
if it is dangerous,
so I smile and say "Hi."
He does sex things to me
and it does feel good, I think.
He has learned to say,
"Are you ok?" every few minutes.
I say, "Yes, I'm ok."
 
5.
I look through my binder of poems.
I know it is me writing here every single time.
I recognize the handwriting,
but even if it is dated yesterday
I don't remember writing the words.
 
6.
I am inside and hear
one of the others
I share this body with
giggle.
I come out to note
that I do not giggle,
because I do not giggle!
Then I go back inside
letting the one who giggles
giggle and be herself
in the body we share.