Poisonous Happiness

I still remember how it felt.
Waking up. Shaking. Soaked in sweat.
I still remember how it felt.
To start the day by getting drunk.
To me it was like coffee.
I still remember how it felt.
To eat zonoct like it was breakfast.
Actually, it was my breakfast.
I still remember the joy,
When the drugs kicked.
Oh it made me happy.
So happy it kept me in it for years.
I couldn’t get by sober.
I could go for days,
Only by drugs and alcohol.
I wonder how I’m still breathing?
Though it feels like I’m only half alive.
Cold hands, cold feet.
I’ve been shot, stabbed and I was an addict for nearly 5 years already at an age of 21.
My body is ruined.
I can barely move my leg anymore.
My mind is broken.
Sometimes I hear voices.
Other times I see the ghosts,
That haunts me.
If I didn’t knew it’s only in my head,
I had blown my brain out already.
 
If your’ an addict,
Please quit before it’s too late.
I’m only 22 and I am lucky if I get 30.
Very lucky even.
I believe in you.
Though I don’t know you,
I know you will handle it.
Whatever you’r going through,
You will get happier.
 
If you still want’s to do drugs just know,
Somewhere around Manteno there is,
A 22 year old with a heart that skips,
Every third beat and he would wish,
He had never touched such poison.
He is lucky if he make it to be 30.
Let me tell you in other words,
I’m dying.