The Race !

Falling behind as I race to keep up,
Hoping and praying for just a little good luck.
In need of a shove just to get myself started  ..
I lack motivation and im so broken hearted.  
In confusion w shame ..I've no desire left to win  .  Left behind in the darkness.  Not one single friend.  
Started out fast,  now its all in slow motion...
Trying so hard to stay focused amid all the commotion.  
Forced to sit back and watch the world go around....
I choose to let go and I fall to the ground.
Knowing the source and the whole reason why...
I look back w regret as Father Time races by.  
Seeing my future reflect off my past..
A repeat performance of how love never lasts  
Even knowing the story , from beginning to end..  each chapter repeating again and again.  
Lacking the courage to do what is right.
To follow my heart and stand up and fight.
I slide down below giving in to my tears...
Hiding my face as I tremble in fear.
I sit here and wonder how can I be so dumb?... I search my whole being, just looking for some..
Strength to solve problems.. to get away from this pain.  .
Makin to much outta nothing,  slowly going insane  .
I ponder the meaning , what's all this about?  
Too scared to keep going cuz im so filled with doubt.
So many reasons to run,
So many reasons to stay.
So I just sit in the shadows..
Slowly fading away.