Money can't buy ...

Oh, go shove your uppity airs
I know you like my derriere  
and truth be told it is quite fair  
but only made for sitting in chairs  
so when you asked me out  
I had no idea you were such a lout  
since when has a simple date  
ever remotely implied we mate  
money can't buy you love  
but in this case you get a glove  
that you can use all on your own  
because tonight you'll be all alone  
don't bother calling, I'll abstain  
no matter how much you complain  
but there is a chance that I'll relent  
if you'll pay my next month's rent