A car crash can really fuck with you.

I should have died.
I am not a good person.
Because I am here,
People's lives have only worsened.

I try to remember doing good.
I can only see the bad.
The times I made my father cry,
All the times I made my parents sad.

I taunted my brother relentlessly.
He punched one of my many faces.
I really had it coming,
But come on... I had braces...

Blood poured out of my lip.
He got into so much trouble.
I got him back years later, I
whacked him with a baseball bat,
my trouble was double.

My mommy found out I'm bisexual.
Her baby girl isn't straight.
That was such a horrible night.
Her eyes held captive so much hate.

I was always on the wrong medicine, growing up.
The amphetamines made me a raging monster.
I was always my own worst enemy.
remorse was something I could never muster.

I have much of it now.
My crash should have taken me.
At least then I could stop,
Stop torturing those who love me.

Please somebody take me.
Anyone who cares.
If you love me,
Become aware.

Be aware of what I'm doing to you,
How miserable you are.
Realize that it's all my fault.
Put me back in that car.

I'll relive the accident.
My breaks failing, my mind going blank.
I'll relive the tumbling, the crunch,
And my numbed ache.

I don't remember getting cut,
I just remember bleeding.
Nothing makes any sense.
How... And why am I still breathing?