My Fictional Reality

It's really hard to read when you don't want to.
I'm sure plenty of people have written essays or looked up quick summaries from things they didn't want to read. I know I have.
School always liked to make us read about slavery and the holocaust.
Both are terrible, terrible subjects.
My head also comes with excessive empathy. Anything I read, feels like I am experiencing.
This makes some books really difficult.
In my head, I've died thousands of times.
I've been tortured in ways one can only imagine because it is one's imagination that creates these horrid experiences.
I've been through so much for a 16-year-old.
Its made reading quite hard.
Sometimes picking up a book just hurts too much.
Seeing those around me die, over and over is not something I enjoy.
So I do what most do, and look up those stupid summaries, and write those god damned essays.
I'm so tired of the constant torture.
I can't handle losing everyone again.