Before Chicken

Painted sign on the door:  
 
Cletus Ottis  
Bounty Hunter
 
Regarded as a conscientious, mud-slapper, mason. "Mah wife said
thet was a dadburn lie." Recently released from a halfway house,
between Johnnie Walker and Jim Beam, Mississippi.  
 
"Ah had recently apprehended th' scrounge who chewed th'  
daises near whar Skeeter Davis rest." But, not before I tasered
the rabbit.  
 
"Yo' haf th' right t'remain silent. Yo' haf th' right t'have  
an atto'ney present when we quesshun yo', an' eff'n yo' kinnot  
affo'd an atto'ney one will be appointed fo' yo'. Eff'n yo'  
waive these rights an' talk t'us, ennythin' yo' say may be used
aginst yo' in court."
 
Now a paranormal investigator. "Wif an office in an old used
sin'le wide. In th' no'th fo'ty, next t'a Waffle House."  
Patched with Campbell Tomato soup cans. Hidden from view.  
The office door seen from a silo of conspicuous decor. "Also it  
came wif a wind-up bug zapper."  
 
Armed with video cameras. digital recorders and of course,  
alcohol. "Not fo'gittin' all th' wo'ds of th' late Jorge Jones  
songs."
 
The wife recently came home with a pet bird. Three months
later it had eaten the side out of the trailer. That is what you
get when you buy a BC pterodactyl. Before Chicken.