Shadows

Watchful,
hyper-vigilant
and easily startled,
she wakes at the sound of a breath
or a rustle—
all senses on overdrive;
extra attuned to her surroundings.
 
Images emblazoned in her mind
(some real and some imagined)—
bicycle, field, friends and a phone;
trying to heat up a carton of soup
to feed herself and her child,
and finding even that small task impossible
in the midst of chaos.
Friends and strangers texting, ringing, knocking at the door
with their many questions and suggestions
but no answers or information.
 
Time and again, she falls asleep
and tumbles into the same dream:
she's standing still on a path as dusk begins to fall
and is killed by a sudden blow to the back of the head.
Eyes watering and ears reeling from the reverberating clang,
and the sound of her skull imploding,
she jolts awake.  Alive!
 
This is an imprint on the brain
from events it is unable to process.
Her imagination transports her
to the unimaginable horrors
which her rational brain tries to bury
and her subconscious warps and twists.
Still, they cannot remain repressed,
and so her feelings leak out
through her dreams
and her eyes.