Manhood

I don't think I'm a man yet
I'm an old man though
My adolescent unsureness
Still prevails, I know

I know when I meet a man
I just play along
I can't compete with completeness
Makes me feel I'm not strong

Even my manhood is fading
In inadequate ways
My wife's so understanding
Showering praise

I'm so critical
Transferring my faults
Hiding old wounds
With verbal assaults

So undeserving
Just nobel intentions
I tell myself not to
But my inner child mentions

Maybe it's the pot
I smoke to change mood
Stymying growth
With thoughts that intrude

But I haven't always smoked
Had periods of straight
It's the misunderstood
Still given its weight

I brainstorm these words
To see if I can
Stumble across
The whiff of a man