Three Letters to First Ladies

Three letters to first ladies in my life…
 
1  
I’m sorry for the unkind comment I made, not realizing you were sitting close. You didn’t acknowledge it, but I knew you heard, and I knew it hurt you.  
 
Earlier, you told me you liked me, but I was unsure of my feelings at the time. You were quiet, shy, kind, and beautiful in ways my adolescent brain didn’t recognize yet. You were brave and I was the coward. Please forgive me. You wouldn’t be the only girl I hurt, but you are the one I still learn from every day.  
 
2  
I think of you often with pleasure and regret. When you called and invited me to your church hayride, I was shocked. We didn’t know each other well and you were younger, but I thought you were beautiful.  
 
You were the first girl I kissed in a serious way. Under that quilt with the smell of fresh hay, a world of magic opened up to me. I think I was the first boy to touch your bare breasts. You were the first girl I touched that way.  
 
Even all these years later, I wouldn’t have had it happen any other way, but I just have to know. Were you pleased or was it too soon?  
 
3  
It was only a passing night in your eventful life, but for me it was a singular portal of pleasure that still haunts. The words you whispered and every panting breath from your lips became the fibers of memories that still give pleasure.  
 
I know it’s been years, but if you’re alone now, can we meet?