deepundergroundpoetry.com
deemed perfect
you said that it would be mutilating my body, that god would be upset. that his wrath would consume me for destroying his creation that was already deemed "perfect" and didn't need to be fixed.
but where was god's wrath when i was eight-years-old and a creation of his deemed "perfect" held me down and mutilated my innocence more than surgical tools ever could?
you said that this is not who i am, that what happened to me made me what i am but these breasts i hate i didn't have when i was eight.
i hate riding in vehicles with no windows and locked doors. i hate that forests no longer seem magical and that monsters don't hide underneath my bed but in it. but this, who i am was not born from this.
where was god's wrath when his "perfect" creation begged for death? when his "perfect" creation tied a noose around their neck? when their "perfect" body bled?
you shed tears and cry that i am ruining something beautiful. tell me that to be comfortable in my own body would be a sin.
but i was eight-years-old when god's image, a creation deemed "perfect", destroyed my beautiful and the only tears that have been shed since are my own.
but where was god's wrath when i was eight-years-old and a creation of his deemed "perfect" held me down and mutilated my innocence more than surgical tools ever could?
you said that this is not who i am, that what happened to me made me what i am but these breasts i hate i didn't have when i was eight.
i hate riding in vehicles with no windows and locked doors. i hate that forests no longer seem magical and that monsters don't hide underneath my bed but in it. but this, who i am was not born from this.
where was god's wrath when his "perfect" creation begged for death? when his "perfect" creation tied a noose around their neck? when their "perfect" body bled?
you shed tears and cry that i am ruining something beautiful. tell me that to be comfortable in my own body would be a sin.
but i was eight-years-old when god's image, a creation deemed "perfect", destroyed my beautiful and the only tears that have been shed since are my own.
Published 21st Aug 2021
Author's Note
I purposely don't capitalize in a lot of my poems.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Anonymous
21st Aug 2021 7:04am
Interesting, compelling poem: the paradox of a God whose creations are perfect allowing evil to be visited upon the child.
That's what I'm reading, anyway--the child, of 8, was molested. This is connected to the "transgender" impulse to cut off her breasts.
The implication, then, is the desire for sex-re-assignment IS pathological, not congenital. It stems from the violent, traumatic experience of child abuse.
A lot of anti-transgender folks would find this acceptable, because the biggest point of contention is between those who perceive transgenderism as a pathological condition (like the feminist art critic Camille Paglia, who identifies as transgender AND calls it "a mental disorder), and those on the other side of the debate who claim they were--to paraphrase Lady Gaga--"born this way."
To connect it to childhood trauma is a latent admission that therapy would be in order.
What I like: the way trauma is seen in everyday activities, like riding in cars, etc., that is, the hypervigilance of PTSD; the frankness of the anger; and the repetition of "where was God's wrath," which most survivors of childhood abuse / trauma can relate to, in a Christian society.
A minor point: that males sexualize females--of any age--has virtually nothing to do with breasts. Otherwise, flat-chested women wouldn't be just as sexualized as busty women. When you raise this point, you invite argumentation that doesn't further the poem.
Interesting read!
That's what I'm reading, anyway--the child, of 8, was molested. This is connected to the "transgender" impulse to cut off her breasts.
The implication, then, is the desire for sex-re-assignment IS pathological, not congenital. It stems from the violent, traumatic experience of child abuse.
A lot of anti-transgender folks would find this acceptable, because the biggest point of contention is between those who perceive transgenderism as a pathological condition (like the feminist art critic Camille Paglia, who identifies as transgender AND calls it "a mental disorder), and those on the other side of the debate who claim they were--to paraphrase Lady Gaga--"born this way."
To connect it to childhood trauma is a latent admission that therapy would be in order.
What I like: the way trauma is seen in everyday activities, like riding in cars, etc., that is, the hypervigilance of PTSD; the frankness of the anger; and the repetition of "where was God's wrath," which most survivors of childhood abuse / trauma can relate to, in a Christian society.
A minor point: that males sexualize females--of any age--has virtually nothing to do with breasts. Otherwise, flat-chested women wouldn't be just as sexualized as busty women. When you raise this point, you invite argumentation that doesn't further the poem.
Interesting read!
You seemed to have missed the point that was trying to be made. The trans narrative in the poem is saying that they're not transgender because of their trauma, that they don't hate their body because of what was done to it. Their body dysphoria is not related to sexual abuse. They were born transgender and they're trying to get that message across to people who believe otherwise. Also the "breasts I hate" line has nothing to do with men sexualizing breasts but them hating their breasts because they do not feel like a woman. They list the things they hate that their trauma did cause but blatantly affirm that who they are was not born from the trauma itself.
