Scars

Scars

I've got decade old wounds
That are still internally bleeding
They say time...
          Time heals all wounds
But it leaves scars
A reminder of pain that once was
It hurts looking in the mirror
Reflecting on that pain

They say a child is a gift...
Is it still a gift if the parents aren't there to receive it ?
So if life is a gift...
If I take it... at least I chose, right ?

" we all want to be wanted "
False ... I don't even want me .
So I tattoo my skin with a cutlass
Soft slow deep cuts .... every stroke
Just so I can breathe cause this mental pain is suffocating I need a physical releases like bleeding the breaks on a car

Watch this red paint on my dark canvas
Maybe if I make more ... you'll see how much I hate myself and you'll leave me alone too and I'll finally have a reason to rest

Scars
They hurt but nothing compares to the reliving of pain that constantly torments my mind like a consistent battering ram , every blow more baffling then the previous ... 
Scars
They are routes on our skin and mind like land marks we draw of a life map
Pain that teaches us of what not to do
Scars
Some are self inflicted
Some are accidental
Some are mysterious
Some are malicious
Some are internal
Some are external
Some are physical
Some are mental
And some are emotional

....but scars none the less
....some hurt more than most
Some we wish never happened
.... and the fact that we have to live with them hurts even more at least for me it does !!! How am I to get over something I see constantly
The American motto " out of sight, out of mind "
How can that ever apply when it's there always reminding you ... poking you
Like having a slow revolving cactus sloved up ones bughole and there nothing one can do about it ... and it just turns and turns like  masochistic coitus
 Ah!!!!!
I  am my scars
I wear them as repellents
Like women do rings when their not married