deepundergroundpoetry.com
Nectar of "O"
I love your sweet nectar
Pussy wet with thoughts of sex
My tongue quivers with need
for your sweet juices
I need your nectar
like you need my tongue
Tongue touches
Your body quivers
I lick up and lick you down
My tongue goes in and out
You moan “I love it”
When I hit your spot
Then you scream
“Keep going”
Licking and sucking
Kissing and biting
I feel you tighten up
I feel your body before I hear your words
“I’m going to blow”
I grab your legs and pull tight
So you can not squirm away from me
As you quiver and start to tighten
I want you to squirt on my face
Once you blow
But before the “O” has time to dissipate
I roll you over and stick it in
I grab you by the hair
As you moan and scream
“Fuck me already”
I grab your hips and I start to slide
In and out
Shallow at first
Then deep, hard and fast
I fuck you from behind
My dick deep inside
My balls slapping against your pussy
You tighter up again
I know your going to blow
I yell “hold on I’m going blow to”
Then the final eruption
Fluids entering and exiting
We fall fall to the floor
Our bodies quiver and quake
Your nectar so sweet
It turns me on
Never quit fucking me.
Hiddenwriter7
Pussy wet with thoughts of sex
My tongue quivers with need
for your sweet juices
I need your nectar
like you need my tongue
Tongue touches
Your body quivers
I lick up and lick you down
My tongue goes in and out
You moan “I love it”
When I hit your spot
Then you scream
“Keep going”
Licking and sucking
Kissing and biting
I feel you tighten up
I feel your body before I hear your words
“I’m going to blow”
I grab your legs and pull tight
So you can not squirm away from me
As you quiver and start to tighten
I want you to squirt on my face
Once you blow
But before the “O” has time to dissipate
I roll you over and stick it in
I grab you by the hair
As you moan and scream
“Fuck me already”
I grab your hips and I start to slide
In and out
Shallow at first
Then deep, hard and fast
I fuck you from behind
My dick deep inside
My balls slapping against your pussy
You tighter up again
I know your going to blow
I yell “hold on I’m going blow to”
Then the final eruption
Fluids entering and exiting
We fall fall to the floor
Our bodies quiver and quake
Your nectar so sweet
It turns me on
Never quit fucking me.
Hiddenwriter7
Published 3rd Aug 2021
Author's Note
This is one I have revamped from years ago I am just getting back into writing after several years as I read through my old work I can tell it is very immature in the way i wrote it. with years of maturity and experience I hope to start writing again
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
3rd Aug 2021 5:16am
Enjoyed!
Especially the times when you grasp the woman, as this is pretty authentic.
Honest critique: the cliches are too pervasive...
When I read Eliot comparing the moon to an old woman with a face scarred from smallpox, or a battered paper lantern--those images still retain a degree of strangeness, even 100 years after they were written.
While you don't want "strangeness" as your effect, what cliches (and this is universal)...what cliches (like sweet nectar, etc.) LACK is "sticky-ness," the quality of stick-ing in the reader's memory long after the reading, which makes the reader return to read it again and again.
Especially the times when you grasp the woman, as this is pretty authentic.
Honest critique: the cliches are too pervasive...
When I read Eliot comparing the moon to an old woman with a face scarred from smallpox, or a battered paper lantern--those images still retain a degree of strangeness, even 100 years after they were written.
While you don't want "strangeness" as your effect, what cliches (and this is universal)...what cliches (like sweet nectar, etc.) LACK is "sticky-ness," the quality of stick-ing in the reader's memory long after the reading, which makes the reader return to read it again and again.
3rd Aug 2021 6:10am
This poem is a passionate read, I can overlook the 'immaturity' by imagining this as a first-time scenario.
Just before reading this I read Rachelle Undergrd's 'Warm Love', whose second verse could link to this poem, making this a 'his' side to the sequel 'hers' side of Warm Love - I quote these lines from the latter as the potential link:
Just there, imprints from the moment you pressed into me from behind
only glass separating me from star-strewn sky.
And there, tell-tale trails of your eventual taking of it all—this body and the night sky, too.
Just before reading this I read Rachelle Undergrd's 'Warm Love', whose second verse could link to this poem, making this a 'his' side to the sequel 'hers' side of Warm Love - I quote these lines from the latter as the potential link:
Just there, imprints from the moment you pressed into me from behind
only glass separating me from star-strewn sky.
And there, tell-tale trails of your eventual taking of it all—this body and the night sky, too.
3rd Aug 2021 9:08am
