deepundergroundpoetry.com
Bleak Sunday
Bleak Sunday
My lying crown
A few errant whiskers
Breathe in
Breathe out
Try to avoid the stains
Do it again
And remember
To recycle
My lying crown
A few errant whiskers
Breathe in
Breathe out
Try to avoid the stains
Do it again
And remember
To recycle
Published 25th Jul 2021
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Anonymous
25th Jul 2021 5:21am
Feedback: I enjoy this. Not as a poem, exactly, but for the tone that comes across, for the way it suggests something. Dissolute, a little broken down.
It's impressive in the way a tone can be communicated, but the particulars remain intangible.
It's impressive in the way a tone can be communicated, but the particulars remain intangible.
9th Aug 2021 3:21am
25th Jul 2021 10:56am
I heartily enjoy this as fully constructed poem. The use of minimalism and your thoughtfully selected 'choice words' used to convey perfectly, that sense of a usual Sunday, through and through, is succinctly clever. I don't think some people realize the powerful impact that minimalism has and the fact that it's much harder to convey emotions and purpose within such a styling.... One of my personal favorite types!
Such a great job with this piece, Spanker
Thank you for sharing 🙏🏻
🌹 - B
Such a great job with this piece, Spanker
Thank you for sharing 🙏🏻
🌹 - B
9th Aug 2021 3:25am
Good on you B, I too am a fan of minimalism where possible. And I respect what you're talking about having demonstrated well via your fine 5-7-5.
