7:22 A.M. Ten Years Coming (I wrote a Poem)

I woke up and smiled today  
Even with all the hurt  
Knowing I shouldve said things sooner than never but settled for late.  
The wind was blowing branches angrily at my windows  
the cats meowing at its mystery.  
I smiled  
I wrote a poem.  
  
Writing felt right  
I tried to keep it out of sight and out of mind  
but the ink sweats off the page.  
Off the brow in my head  
The tightness and the pain returned in my chest  
that kind you would talk about?  
It reminds me of failure and my betrayal  
and this i just feel is the worst.  
So I put my hands on the keys  
I trembled  
I wrote a poem.  
   
My fingers curled into fists  
out of frustration from the lack of words that haunt me  
and follow me through the darkest of days.  
 
The nails cut into my palms  
muscles tensed from all the stress  
and I just cant fathom how i'd feel  
had I never even tried,  
I wrote a poem.  
   
The Scattered Scientists in my brain have begged for a return  
But their mumbling musings just scatter my thoughts.  
They blur all the lines and I know whats there isn't me or mine  
it's just the passing of time,  
and how its all made me feel lately  
that,  
as if every single decision was calm and collected on stage,  
fell apart in the 2nd act.  
But I swore I wrote the 3rd,  
It's happier than the 1st and that's a start  
its' just there somewhere in folders and notebooks.  
I thought if i'd just stash them away  
between lines hidden on the page  
that id never have to confront any or all of this.  
   
Lately i've been feeling guilty thinking that 'abandoned' isn't far from 'moving on'  
and that i'm selfish for picking sides.  
The tears swell up and they finally release  
a thing I wasn't able to do only just 2 years ago.  
I wiped my face dry.  
I wrote a poem  
   
7:29 A.M.