losing myself

In and out of hospitals
Making a pharmacy out of antidepressants

Trying to suppress the thoughts that are ravaging  my mind still feel like a peasant

I take theses  pills trying to make me okay
But I waste  away as my body decays

I'm not alright I'm not okay that is just how I feel
I can't help if that's the phrase that seems  the most real today

Am I fucked for thinking I'm nothing or is that just the antidepressants  talking. Making me feel fine
When the knife is so close and stalking

A life full of happiness I wish But I'm stuck with all my bull shit.
I'm not alright I'm not okay
My mind cloaks me in darkness  to were I can't really see
I don't know what to choose and end up feeding my insecurities
I feed them till they are large and they are going to swallow  me whole
A dwarf star exploding  envelopes me with what is now a dark hole