Lucky I Had You at All

Mother,
I wish I had the time to apologize
for all the lies
all the times
i was a stupid kid
a stupid teen
a stupid mean immature
creature
and not a man yet
and sometimes I forgive myself
but usually I berate myself
for not growing up on pace
to face
the world before it gave
me no choice
and you no voice
to speak for months
in a bed in a hospital
that slowly
tragically
took your stomach
then your limbs
then your life.