Cleaning Out My Closet Remix

When you're awoken from an REM sleep
recognizing the images and your unconscious mind sees the shit from the tree. Now I stand with my head in my knees because mother nurture could never be mother nature. It seems like we never talked or maybe I did all the conversation. Small town kids I can't blame. Because I keep referring to that Steinbeck quote and I can still smell the pages of the book and stale cigarette smoke and then Dad he would walk on in because he'd snap I'd get the slap probably pull my fucking hair oh well that was the 80's and the 90's when parents use to hit and kick their kids. Verbally and emotionally controlling yeah that's called abuse and let's not get into this weird secret it's old hat too! Yeah middle America in freezing Maine where parent let you fuck your cousins when your only eight. Fuck mom you wonder where I get all this hate. Fucking right I'm in explosive mode like an AR 15 tearing up a home a school a community man I would have done it back in 92 I was a freshman and I was playing with the pepper shaker at the table and you grabbed it and all the pepper fell out on your food and you slapped me so hard and you wonder why I came back from the NAVY I use to pick on you and call you names. The same ones you use to say to me. I throw like I girl you're fat and you're gay. If you wanted to be a real man you should have gotten a tattoo . Well I did so I guess that makes me more than a man than you? You fucking cunt now it's like self harming to me. But that evening I almost stuck a 110 Buck in your throat. If it was now? Man lock me up as I travel back and forth through time ennie meanie minie moe probably the family in that fucking haunted house I still dream that and even crave to be there in some sick perverted kind of way man look how I could have turned out. But I'm fortunate I got the fuck out . I remember you crying when I was leaving you told me that I didn't have to go ?? Yeah that was fucking smart to say that to a kid with a 15 year old girlfriend before he's flying out to Illinois! I was so home sick I told the fucking NAVY  that I wanted to go back home to mommy's tit her teat fuck it I want something to eat this shit is hard getting it all out so I can fall asleep before my high burns out. Get out the shotguns fuck the shovel I'm leaving the bodies where they fall. They can rot there for all that I care they abandoned me. Mommy and Daddy I want to come home me afraid of boot camp Japan Boston Ireland no matter where Ive fucking been I m fucking so happy fate or luck or whatever it's fucking called I'd be dead if I never left town sure it's a miracle I'm writing this now. Like wow in a snap of a finger it's gone.  But I would get the chainsaws out. Go Slim Shady on the fibulas first  then maybe chew on a tibia before I bash in the skulls with a hammer and I won't be wearing overalls that's not my style any more but you can bet I'll be wearing this fucking costume that holy God made like are you fucking right 5' 5' and a half what not even six well I guess your fucking right. At least I don't have my Father's set of teeth haha yeah I finally said it now maybe I'll find some sort of peace because those demons that inudate my fucking head well I guess I ll just vomit them out it's all black and white as I type with my thumb

I'm sorry mamma I never meant to hurt you
I never meant to make you cry but tonight
I'm cleani,..,.... El ex ah jkl hcbje vgjk
But what about dad
What about dad
What about dad
What about dad
I'm cleaning out my closet
Well fuck him too