sadness

The clown of life                
  
 Sadness fills my mind
perhaps it is time to go home,
but that would be hopeless
meet with the country I no longer know.
I had a home, but now it is being sold.
Looking back on my life as a zombie,
like an autumnal leaf in a stream
Someone else lived my life. It was not me.
Perhaps there is nothing like free will.
We are just born, and what happens
to us has been foretold.
Am I the result of thought?
That began hundreds of years ago,
eternal life of unconsciousness.
I accept who I´m sad will always
 be a part of me; I try to make into humour.