Did I love you

It's been years RAM.


I'm no longer afraid of the nights.

The way It conquers the days,

days of endless waiting.

Your face , a broken shade of grey, fading,

as the celluloid unfolds like silhouettes dissolving with the sun,

The mountains, the busy streets and the silent corridors of my hostel dorm somehow always leads me back to you.


We are strangers Ram.


I'm not that girlfriend who will sprint at the sight of you,

No, I won't be able to recognise your voice from miles away.

I don't know how to comfort you,

I don't even know how to laugh with you. Still, for some strange reason, I still believe that I loved you, I love you? that I loved you madly. Maybe I was in love with a shred of an innocent childhood

A memory, you were a part of .

You distanced yourself from me, the distance made me crazy.

Maybe my friends were right, maybe I never loved you.

Maybe, I was in love with the feeling of being in love.

Cause If not for the profile I visit once in a while I would have long forgotten your face.

Or maybe I did love you.

But I loved the girl in me who fell for you, even more.

The girl who knew no lies.

The girl whose world lit up when you smiled.

I envy her Ram.

Now For me, love is a mirage of wasted feelings.

I envy her so much Ram,

because time put me in this loop  where your smile was replaced by bifurcations and  my love for you by a state of indifference