Struggle

I keep pestering myself
Telling myself
"All will be well"
"Today might seems not-fine"
"But tomorrow; I'd be alright"

Days passed
Nights flashed
And here I am waiting
Calculating
Tabulating;
Dreaming; about my new mode of living

I keep believing
The pain; I keep it hidden
Thinking;
Tomorrow will be a new beginning

But here I still am
Bowing my heading down
with ah heavy heart
And that fakeful smile

Preachers said I'm destined for more
Friends stressed I live like boss
Girls said I look handsome
But deep inside; I knew I'm not
Right in my mind was where 3rd World War was fought

The hope for better tomorrow incites me
But surviving seems tiring
Of course I am smiling
But deep inside; I'm dying

Sometimes I feel like giving up
But someone/something always put me to stop
Telling me to have faith in God
Sooner; salvation will come

But if my sacrifice didn't make it...
to the garden of Eden
Or if my dream got taken
Before I'm awaken
I hope the world would know
That I did my best