embracing the darkness

it's hard
not to
embrace the
darkness
to not
let it
engulf you
in whole
and fully

it's easier
to enjoy
the darkness
to stay
hidden away
to stay
in solitary
or isolation
to not
deal with
life and
society's
expectations
to not
nourish
friendships
relationships

why not
just be
by yourself
where it
does not
matter
who you
are or
how you
dress or
what your
opinions are
or your
aspirations
or plans

why not
just push
the light
away and
feel the
pain and
boredom that
are associated
with darkness
maybe it's
how i'm
supposed to
be and
maybe
my life
isn't supposed
to be
any different
or full
of content

maybe i
wasn't supposed
to feel
light only
pretending that
i do
and
give others
my light

to give
and
not take
and
let people
step all
over me
and to
relish in
my pity
because
i'm not
destined for
anything else

why must
dark be
simpler than
the light
and
come more
often than
the peace

who needs
the happy
when it's
perfectly fine
in the
sad and
the darkness
who needs
bliss when
it's so
effortless to
forget the
beautiful things
all around
and chose
to see
the black

the dark
is so
secure and
familiar and
maybe it's
not ideal
but
it's all
that i
see and
it's painful
but it
may be
 best because
there's nothing
else here
and
it's hard
to rid
of the
darkest darkness
inside so
maybe i
should just
simply succumb
to it

and surrender
my fate
and dreams
and aspirations
and passions
and opinions

so instead
of fighting
the inevitable
obsidian darkness
i should
just embrace
it all
because it's

so hard.