In the dark

I struggle in silence and cry in the dark
The dark corners of my room so know one sees me fall apart.  

In the midst of my tears sleep finds me
My eyes close and I pray for peace 

 I have no release my mind is always going everything is moving to fast
Lost in my version of reality how long will it last

No way or where to release my pain or find something to calm me
Free from all of the agony is what I truly long to be

Indulging in loveless relationships because there's a need to be loved 
Find someone as broken as me is all I think of

If I over compensate maybe they won't see 
That I too am broken and they aren't as broken as me

I can't pray for tomorrow it may be worse than today
Stuck inside my own pain I can barely make it through today

Fix everyone smile and laugh that's what I do and I do it well
I just can't fix me..I'm internally jailed

Prisoner of my own mind my desire to be loved Save me from myself is my plea
Asking God when will it be my turn, this time why don’t you save me

No one knows my struggles or my deepest fears
Fooling people for most of my life for so many years

I'm tired  I have no desire to fix anyone else 
Afraid to look in the mirror because I can't fix myself

I look at me and think what the fuck 
Manipulation and conversation 
But I can't give up

Anyone who can't see that I am a beautiful person with heart .  

I can't fix me, something's broken holding thoughts that hurt worse than words not spoken.

Maybe one day I'll get it right instead of playing  the part
But until then i'll struggle in silence and cry in the dark