it felt like goodbye

just now when i talked to you on the phone
i went outside in the cold so no one would overhear
i dont have headphones
and you never call on my number
you were calling about anna, again
who is obviously still in your life
i understand

you get bored

and you had been drinking a little and sniffing a little and
we talked more about the awful people of the city we live in
and you asked me to come over and you said is there a way
and i said no
sorry
and you tried to tempt me with espresso
and with the thought of your moving away after uni is done
so that i would be afraid to lose you
i am afraid i've lost you
and i said i'm thinking
and i said i'm sorry i'm just sad now
and you said can i call you back
and i said

sure


and then you called me back