24

You should be here still,
With that smile that crinkled your eyes.
Too much to swallow, too big a pill,
Takes my breath away, dulling every sunrise.
You should be here still,
So I can just say I’m sorry,
You should be here still because the kids are needing their Mommy.
My words can’t even express the grief I’m feeling,
I’m still shocked to my core that this is actually real.
Why are you not here? Did you really have to go?
If I just could rewrite the script and do it all over again, I swear I will.
Need you to know
wherever you may be you are so loved,
Every single day I cry for you, I pray for your peace,
Waiting til we meet again so I can get another hug.
My cousin, same blood that’s in me,
You should be here still,
If I could give my life for yours back, show me where to go trade and I will.
Do I have to question our God?
Or should I bargain with the Devil?
Why am I waking up everyday in a world that’s missing you?
Too young to go, but too hurt to stay,
I wish I’d have just done better.
I’d have shielded you from it all,
Been your umbrella so we could have weathered the storm together.
You should be here still, not just your memory, I mean YOU...
If you were, I’d tell you there’s no struggle that would have ever broken you!
You should be here still, if for nothing else than for my own selfish reasons,
I want to hear your laugh and be able to call you,
I want you HERE, with me... through a million more seasons.
I hope you hear me, I hope you feel me as well, not my pain
But all the love I’ll always keep untainted.
For you, I shed tears of love and loss.
For you, I’ll keep on going.
For you, I’ll learn to love without conditions, because that’s all you ever wanted.
For you, I’ll write til my hands bleed,
For you, your children live and because you live in them, they will succeed.
You just rest now... I know you were tired,
But for you, I would have carried it all.
From you, I’d been inspired.
To you, I’m sending my love, even that that spilled through the crack in my heart,
Of you I’ll always dream, because in my dreams... we didnt part.

For Tomelle