the spot

im writing this as im having anxiety attack
maybe i could reach someone so I wont feel alone
there are no lies only facts
I feel so numb like when my innocence was gone

I was trying to pleasure myself
it felt good but then the panic started
I couldn't stop it I tried
it could be due to trauma or my body

I think it could be both
memories make me want to fold
as time passes as I grow
I couldn't escape it feels so cold

I try to be at peace
its hard others make it sound easy
the don't have to live with being afraid
this is something I wish I could erase