Searching... (The Opiate Waltz)

I've given indifferent care    
to the idea of forlong life    
opiate dreams    
 barely awake    
one finds happiness there    
and the most utter dispair    
   
I think I may call it my home    
   
Cocoon warmth    
infinite ideas    
   
brought on by a cold bottle    
a bowl freshly smoked    
and, perhaps an interesting comment    
made w/ a freind    
potential lover    
enough to keep me going    
   
I would write songs like this for months    
   
Oh, if I could live in the world of the Opiate Waltz    
   
Like a bastard hiding from the world    
   
or a Wizard, bringing in precious metals from the outside    
to commit the greatest of alchemy    
   
But now the journey outward has begun    
   
Pot serf carries the weight    
and charges into the unforgiving winter    
   
and skeptical gazes, of the many flakes of snow of men & women    
   
I hope they find me deserving.    
   
Funny how what terrifies you most drives you most in life. And while I find myself wholly empty w/out my fellow primates, I feel lost, and searching when I am around them    
   
Always searching...