deepundergroundpoetry.com

When Are You Gone

[/font]
My black bilious breath[/font]
Burns in my throat[/font]
When I spoke those words[/font]
[/font]
How I wanted to capture your portrait[/font]
But never do you shift still[/font]
[/font]
Your milky vapour[/font]
Hangs in light leaves,[/font]
The thin empty chamber[/font]
Hard and resonant,[/font]
5 sharp soffits[/font]
Sneer blankly white[/font]
[/font]
Your cooling heaped creases[/font]
Infinitely crumpled by intimacy[/font]
[/font]
As love shut sudden off[/font]
Drips tapping,[/font]
Discarded toys slumped,[/font]
Faced to the cold floor[/font]
[/font]
Our collapsing boxes of memory[/font]
Are piled in grey[/font]
Against the wall[/font]
Taken back[/font]
But not opened[/font]
[/font]
It is not an end[/font]
[/font]
17.01.10[/font]

Written by trysca

Published 17th Jan 2010

All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.

likes 2 reading list entries 0

comments 3 reads 827

Commenting Preference:

The author encourages honest critique.

Distant

manic_inspiration (Brian Minnick)

17th Jan 2010 10:51pm

I love the distant sadness this portrays. While I love alliteration, it overwhelmed me a bit in this poem, though the imagery was right on point. "Discarded toys slumped / faced to the cold floor," is probably my favorite line. Beautiful work!