This Is My Body

I had learned to hold my breath when times got bad

And I had learned that if I cried, you would get mad

When I was fifteen, and it was someone else’s hands…

I couldn’t scream because you told me not to, Dad

I couldn’t speak because you taught me not to, Dad


You don’t have to worry ‘cause they won’t believe me

They won’t defend me

You’re getting off easy

It’s not a secret, but it’s safe

I’m carrying the weight


If my body belonged to you because you fed me, I would have gladly starved, too

And if my body belonged to you because you clothed me, I would rather have been naked than exposed in front of you

If my body was yours because you made me, I would have given my life, too

I would have given my life to be safe from you


If my body is a temple, then I guess you were a priest

Serving after hours where lust turned you to a beast

Setting fire to my sacred parts; my blood like holy water spilt

And I whispered splintered prayers from the altar where I knelt


You don’t have to worry ‘cause they won’t believe me

They won’t defend me

You’re getting off easy

It’s not a secret, but it’s safe

I’m carrying the weight

All the sins you have committed-

Your sins, they’ve been forgiven

I’m the one who bears the shame


Those stained glass windows have shattered now, the shards buried beneath my skin

I wear the scars you gave me- some without and some within

And I would have given up anything to keep my body away from your hands

And I would have offered up anything for my body to be mine again


Hoc est corpus meum. This is my body.


And I whispered splintered prayers from the altar where I knelt.


(Father, forgive me for the sins I’ve done to deserve this pain. Please, take me away from this place. Don’t let him hurt me anymore. Don’t let my heart bleed anymore.)


I will always carry the shame


There is nothing sacred here