How did I get home ?

Confusion is like any town,
to find it you will need to drown,
drink yourself from under a table,
find a street called willing but unable.

Fumbling around for rubber keys,
crawling on your grass stained knees.
Open the door with a crash bang clatter
midnight feasts of spread cheese crackers.

Relieve yourself on your brothers bed
convinced you've used the toilet instead
then climb inside the wrong way round
until the morning when you're found.

Wake up to your mothers screams
thinking this strange vivid scene
is going on inside your head,
not lying cold, in a piss wet bed.