Papa Dada's Intimate Sad Confession of a Life So Uneventfully Wasted--- (He Can't Be Serious)**

The simplicity of Love has been gone for so long, now,
 so that my old brain finds itself wandering to simpler
youthful days, (bet ye never heard that one before).
 
my timid nature  during them times, combined with
emotional laziness (unwilling to push myself beyond proverbial
comfort zone), has left me to 'miss' exploring the world, exploring
opportunities of relationships, etc. etc..  
 
So, just another old fuck regretting all he didn't do now that  
he's literally too heartsick and too figuratively broken, to do any-thing.
 
Then, when one has lost a child to death, it's the cake's icing. All the senseless,
"would this have turned out different if I had just....." Bla' bla, bla....
Such a waste of life energy to get all caught up in that shit.
Regardless of all the therapies, meditations, prayers, & all comes back
as if it was a cast-iron skillet woppin'' ye in the fckn face.
 
The tortures and torments of the bloody Self in it's golden years,
 are so enduring and  relentless.
Who would/could/should have known?  
 
~ Damn, and I thought I did know.~
 
 (At least he wasn't a criminal.
                                         Or was he?)
 
So much for knowing.
 
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