Coping with being an ‘average’ person (in most respects)~

*From my personal thoughts/opinions    
   
.:☆*: („• ֊ •„) :*☆:.    
   
I recently watched a Youtube video where random strangers started explaining to the camera when was the first instance they knew they “weren’t like everyone else”, which is probably another statement for saying they’re “special” or “extra-ordinary” (aka not ordinary/mediocre).    
   
However, many of the individuals answered with the fact that they actually are like everyone else, and in my POV, these comments gave an interesting tone to the video I don’t think she intended.    
   
In Western nations, we’re often raised as children to believe we each have a special quality in ourselves that is supposed to separate us from the crowd. An inner “mojo” in us, is how I’d like to describe it.    
   
But, it’s very much expected that once a person grows up, this expectation of being “special” fades away into the background, and many people learn, often harshly, that we are all in the same boat, fighting for ourselves for survival.    
   
I believe it’s true that maybe as children, we may have been raised to feel like we were the centre of the world, but people don’t always care for you like your parents do. The fact that you’re not always going to be apple of everyone’s attention is a pretty plausible reality for the vast majority of us.    
   
So, if I were to answer the question of “when was the first time you thought you were special?”, I’d probably answer with a question I think is more important: “when was the first time you thought you were not special.”    
   
I think the latter statement is more important because “not being special” is what connects the majority of us. As you may have noticed, many of the products that are popular today are only so because they are made for the “average” person or they are in a sense, “relatable”.    
   
Take for instance, the Toyota Corolla or Camry. These two cars may not be the most stylish or extravagant, but the Corolla and the Camry are some of the bestselling (in some sense, iconic) cars of all time—because they are suited to the average person. Since they are comfortable, spacious and safe, they are kept for decades by loving families and taken on road trips, work commutes, first dates and first interviews. Thousands of people have made memories with these seemingly bland and boring cars.    
   
This posits a question: is it so bad not to be above the crowd? People are not cars, no, but the industrialized world is usually made for the average person. Being on the same social status or income with your neighbour, your co-worker or a random stranger, may not be such a bad thing.    
   
Therefore, through this article, I’m gonna try and offer a more wholesome way to think of being “not special” or ordinary.    
Maybe some of these points can apply to you, maybe none of them do. (I’m not an expert heh.) Though, I do think this is an interesting topic to discuss, so imma roll with it~    
   
.:☆*: 1) Having friends (づ￣ ³￣)づ☆    
   
One of the most important aspects of maintaining friendships is understanding. But, if you and your friend(s) can’t relate to each other, then how can you understand each other? If it weren’t for you guys being “somewhat on the same level”, then, it isn’t possible for you guys to become friends at all.    
   
Sympathy can only go a long way, so it helps to have someone with whom you’ve had at least some shared experiences with.    
   
The weird thing is that, living in an increasingly individualistic society means that it’s possible we’re isolating ourselves from each other more often. Even the word “success” can be coined as “rising above everyone else” or “being recognized above everyone else”.    
   
But, if you end up in a place where you’re too high above the clouds that no one will know if you need help when you’re suffering, that no one will be able to even congratulate you genuinely because they love you...then is rising too high up even worth it?    
   
Of course, it is great to aim for the stars, but, do not get sucked into the frozen, lonesome, vastness of space where no one can contact you. It is important to remind yourself where you came from...which for the most part, was probably an “ordinary” life.    
   
I personally believe that if one has to come down from their throne just to help someone they love, then the sacrifice is worth it. (Call me romantic lol hehe~)    
   
One can gain back success again in a different way, but a moment that‘s to be filled with love (any type) for another, is a moment that can’t be replaced. If anything, those moments are probably what one will remember the most at the end of their lives.    
   
.:☆*: 2) Gratitude (´-ω-'( _ _ )    
   
I don’t want to sound like I’m preaching, but, it is important to recognize what you have as much as what you don’t.    
   
In fact, just because some people seemingly have “more” than someone, it doesn’t mean that person has nothing.    
   
For example, my mother, who came from a poor family with 11 siblings living in one house said this to me:    
“Often, a delicious meal, a roof over one’s head and one or two bodies who love you can mean the entire world for someone who has close to nothing.”    
   
That only made me think of my own experiences:    
~How many meals have I gotten without struggling or walking miles to get?    
...Probably tens of thousands (every single meal I’ve ever had really)    
~How many times have my parents or my friends helped me when I needed it?    
...Probably hundreds of times    
~How many years have I lived under a roof without worrying if my house will be demolished?    
...Practically my entire life of 20 years (2 decades)    
   
Two entire decades I’ve lived a life full of love and safety. And sure, many people might have needed to move out and get a job, but, on average, hundreds of thousands of people in my country have a roof, some meals and invaluable loved ones who can hug them, kiss them and provide (even financially) for them.    
   
Sure, I have never earned a superlative or a fancy title, even in my own friend group. And sure, my grades are so average that I probably won’t become the richest out of all of them either...but I have so much already.    
   
I have earned all of the things my mother struggled for with such ease, that, I’ve forgotten how important just having basic needs are. Reminding you, basic needs...are what a person needs to live.    
   
So for me, I don’t need more. I have everything that makes me happy. If anything, being ordinary granted me all of these privileges, and if I must settle for an “ordinary life”, then even a rough month at school or at work will be worth it.    
   
This is not to neglect that there aren’t hardships in one’s existence. It’s true, a life cannot be lived without suffering. But, even a life with suffering can, be a relatively great life.    
   
.:☆*: 3) The layers of each individual (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)    
   
In my opinion, I think it is wrong to think of individuals as one-sided when we speak about being “unique” or special. Often the label of “average” or “ordinary” can lead us to think we’re all the same. Though, this is simply not true.    
   
Like your friendly neighbour Shrek says: “Ogres are like onions [... ] Onions have layers. Ogres have layers.”    
   
Indeed, I believe it’s too easy nowadays to judge a person with a few words to determine their worth. Think of labels like “CEO” or “Ph.D” used in bureaucracies to raise a person’s stature up and negative stereotypes like “terrorist” or “faggot” used to cancel entire groups of people.    
   
It’s important not to give into these surface-level labels, because every individual is usually much more than they are labelled.    
   
Likewise, even with a group of “average“ or “mediocre” people, who are all living on the same social status, there can be a plethora of differences. So, it is wrong to say that having lots in common with the next person means that you aren’t unique.    
   
You know how all ogres can become angry easily...that’s just one of the things they may have in common.    
But on the inside, each of them has layers to their personality laced with modifications in genetics and experiences between each individual ogre, which means each of them are different. Think about the differences (obvious and subtle) between Shrek and Fiona.    
   
Besides Shrek and his ogre friends :3 a similar quote I’d like to refer to is this one:    
   
“All human beings have three lives:    
Public,    
Private,    
And secret.”    
~Gabriel Garcia Marquez    
   
.:☆*: 4) The risk of being too self-absorbed (￢_￢;)    
   
Now, I’d just like to put it out there, being self-absorbed doesn’t mean being selfish. Being self-absorbed means caring too much what other people think of you. But, it doesn’t mean you don’t care about others.    
   
(I’m speaking from personal experience here, heh)    
   
To an extent, everyone is a little bit self-absorbed...because it’s not possible to not be if we live our entire lives through only our one set of eyes.    
Like, at some point, most people have a mental breakdown about what other people think of them...but as they slowly deteriorate on the inside, they forget that what they believe people think of them may not be the reality itself.    
   
...Also, everyone makes mistakes, so some embarrassment isn’t the end of the world~    
   
Anyways, my point is that being self-absorbed is one of the worse cons of becoming “extraordinary”, because it means you have to keep up appearances for other people.    
   
I can speak about this personally from my experiences in junior high, winning the French award.    
   
Back then, when I won it for the first time in grade 7, I suddenly became known as some sort of French officionado. I started getting comments from other people stating that they would want to get advice from me because I’m the “French genius” or comments similar to that.    
   
Though, being a “genius” was far from what I really was though: someone who was nice enough to be recognized by the teacher, was good with Power Point, thought French words sounded unique, and was...lemme say...more than adequate at manipulating Google Translate.    
   
But, the more this label was used, the more it stuck to me, and I felt like I had to push myself even harder to win the award next year...which I did.    
   
The problem though, was that inside, I was slowly weighed down from the pressure of others’ expectations and in the last year of junior high, I fell through the cracks.  
Not only did I not win the award the last year, but I went into a pretty sad phase of my life.    
   
All that effort I put in the previous months just to get recognized, all of the expectations that everyone else had for me to get awarded on stage, were wasted the second the principal said someone else’s name.    
   
For three school grades, I found so much self-worth from others’ expectations of me, that I became so self-conscious (aka self absorbed) of my social image. And, when those high expectations finally slipped, I had nothing else to hold on to, and my identity fell along with them.    
   
But, the truth was, even after I failed to get that award, it seemed like nothing really changed in my life by the time I got to high school.  
The friends I had were nice enough that they stayed friends with me, the people that used to praise me for being a genius weren’t there anymore, and I still got a-okay grades, except I didn’t get any awards for it.    
   
I became like most of the students in my school...an average person, who is like everyone else.    
   
If anything, that junior high me might have felt like it was the end of the world, but, it really wasn’t. Actually, high school was 1000x better than junior high in terms of mental health, so to be honest, I’m glad I didn’t get that last French award.    
   
What I lost in social status, I gained in real friendship—I probably wouldn’t be here today if that didn’t happen.    
   
.:☆*: („• ֊ •„) :*☆:.    
   
~Last remarks:    
   
Honestly, there’s no shame in being “mediocre” or “ordinary”.    
   
One doesn’t have to be “special” in other people’s eyes, just to value themselves or to live a great life. It’s enough just to keep being a decently good person inside and out. No need to be perfect or extraordinary.    
   
Sure, many of us have multitudes in common, but we are each unique in our own ways. It’s just, we don’t show it to others, since, why in the fuck do they have to know anyways?    
   
Is life just worth a flashy title you can show to others? Is it worth being the centre of attention of every conversation?    
   
My answer is: no, not for me.    
   
Even the people with fancy titles have superior goals that stretch beyond their flashy label. Often, celebrities and the like, have reached new heights cause they’re doing it to help or support others...who help and support them.  
(Ex: Taylor Swift and Keanu Reeves, who love their fans lots, and their fans love them just as much)    
   
So, it’s okay if you want to reach for the stars, but don’t get sucked into the cold, dark, emptiness.  
Don’t forget that a life lived alongside others is better than a life lived against others.
 
Somehow, someway, all of us are eventually going to have to give up feelings of scarcity and inadequacy. We are all going to grow old and we won’t be able to do as much as we could before. Most of our days will end up being quite simple and boring. Eventually, growing up means learning that regardless of a lack of what we have, we were always truly enough as we are.