deepundergroundpoetry.com
Defensive
The river will take no more
snowmobiles, no ice fishers or wanderers.
It throws out spring-heaved icechunk
rubble broken between its banks all month
reminiscent of a road I'd seen
bulldozed, defensively
by local Bosnians
back to a former century.
There is a bramble of blackberry
by the spruce
sitting on the edge
of General Dynamics
Experimental Firing Range
thorny, redblack, delicious
forbidden.
snowmobiles, no ice fishers or wanderers.
It throws out spring-heaved icechunk
rubble broken between its banks all month
reminiscent of a road I'd seen
bulldozed, defensively
by local Bosnians
back to a former century.
There is a bramble of blackberry
by the spruce
sitting on the edge
of General Dynamics
Experimental Firing Range
thorny, redblack, delicious
forbidden.
Published 22nd Jan 2012
| Edited 24th Jan 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
then some i get, some i dont... if i didnt read good artists how would i inspire myself to write good lyrics? :P
but this one... im thinking observational... unless i knew the reason behind its 'categorized' discontent.
that last stanza is a gem.
but this one... im thinking observational... unless i knew the reason behind its 'categorized' discontent.
that last stanza is a gem.
23rd Jan 2012 1:17am
Thanks Dennis. It is observational, to some degree. The spot I mention is an experimental weapons testing facility. Both stanzas just oppose/ compare nature's capacity for self defense to our capacity for the same. Maybe one is more savage than the other. Maybe one is more offensive than defensive. I wanted the images to just hang there rather than decide that for you.
zappity zap------yes, let it hang...eXcellente y muchacha gracias por
puttin it out h'ere
wonder & i'magine a meaning if ye need 'meaning' when reading
po'et a'rt.....
eye'm
glad aye don't need to know all the shit I Knew, AND all the shit I'Thought I'ought 2Know
eXcuse me whilst i go rinse me brain...i feel mo'shit dis'guised as[s] I-KNOW this vs that coming on!
as dear old Dad had said, "jeez, Danny, whydoncha write something people can understand?"---yo, Pops, idunno. Must be that psyche-spiritual braindamage i pickt up for 'surviving' so many coronary assaults & the big'ass heartmotor overhaul tha'follered........yikes!
puttin it out h'ere
wonder & i'magine a meaning if ye need 'meaning' when reading
po'et a'rt.....
eye'm
glad aye don't need to know all the shit I Knew, AND all the shit I'Thought I'ought 2Know
eXcuse me whilst i go rinse me brain...i feel mo'shit dis'guised as[s] I-KNOW this vs that coming on!
as dear old Dad had said, "jeez, Danny, whydoncha write something people can understand?"---yo, Pops, idunno. Must be that psyche-spiritual braindamage i pickt up for 'surviving' so many coronary assaults & the big'ass heartmotor overhaul tha'follered........yikes!
24th Jan 2012 00:34am
Thanks Daniel. Exactly... bang bang plus some top secret forbidden fruit. (It just tastes better). In this case I'm not "hiding" the meaning or saying there is none there. I usually have a very specific intent, but I want it to emerge out of the work rather than state it outright. It's not hidden however. I try to make the language as straightforward as possible. That way if someone reads it first and still wants clarification, I'll explain it. If it has merit before you decipher a poem, then it should still be there after. The reading, however, is much larger than the meaning, or it would be philosophy not poetry.
