deepundergroundpoetry.com

In His Arms

I slit the blade through my skin
And watched myself bleed
Watching each drop quietly fall to the floor
Then sliding the blade across, once more

I stared at the puddle that was starting to form,
Looking at it but not seeing it at all
I felt nothing, except for the usual numbness I felt before
Slowly, and willingly letting the darkness swallow me as I began to fall.

I closed my eyes, feeling the cold deep within my heart
Allowing it to swallow me whole, without a second thought.
Feeling myself drown more and more
Fleeing from the agony burning in my core.

I heard voices inside my head telling me to stop.
That it didn�t have to be this way, or be this hard
I ignored the voices, for they prevented me from escaping my pain
But I couldn�t so I cut again.

Then this other kind of agony burst forth
It felt like I was causing someone else pain, so I put the knife down.
I was in shock, I�ve never felt this before.
As if someone was feeling pain, like if I wasn�t alone.

I closed my eyes, feeling l should
Then I suddenly knew who it was.
My heart started to twitch, its walls were starting to crumble
The ice was starting to break, it began to unhardened

I cried.
Something I�ve always refused to do
�I didn�t mean to hurt you,� I said.
�I didn�t know I mattered to you!�

I suddenly felt like I was being carried,
So I let myself break and fall
In His arms I felt so safe and secure
In His arms I knew I was never alone

I felt this peace enter me
Feeling all my pain and sadness leave
I felt so light and free
So happy to be me.

I didn�t know what to say,
So I said what was inside my heart
The anger, the loneliness, the pain
The betrayal that had torn me apart

I couldn�t see Him, but I could feel Him there.
Not only in my soul, but my body sensed Him as well.
The way goose bumps had covered my skin,
And the gentle fresh air that was starting to surround me.

I knew He was listening, to every word I spoke
I thought He�d get mad, but instead He gave me hope.
That things were going to get better, that happiness would soon come my way.
All I needed to do was believe, and keep having faith.

I asked Him how I was supposed to do this
When pain seemed to control me
When I was so weak, and helpless
And he replied in a voice full of love and peace.

�No matter what happens, I will always be there.
No matter what you do wrong, I will love you still
And in those days and nights, where you feel that you can�t take it anymore,
I will be there, carrying you in my arms, through it all.�