I am in love with a bitch

Fuck I hate this bitch so much
But at the same time I can't live without her
Fuck, she's more twisted than this paradox

Thing is
I met her a few years back
I was at the top of my career
Well I mean, I made more money then than
I have ever made since
but I was unhappy

I remember back then everyone wanted to be associated with me
Somehow I had ghost friends
Concealed by smiley masks
And I knew they weren't genuine
But it felt great to have people on my corner

She came in all white
and asked me for a dance
and oh-God was she beautiful

"No i can't dance!"

"Yes, you can. You just haven't danced with me yet!"

I loved the audacity of her bravery
Somehow she invoked something intangible yet powerful beyond imagination within

Fast Forward to the present

I am in a relationship with this bitch
A filthy whore
that entices innocent men
into her palace
to suck them dry
of their hard earned income
I hate looking at her
Because every time I do
She brings memories of dead souls
and screaming voices

But still I look at her
I torment myself by touching her
Feeling her
Loving her
and making love to her

Oh, this bitch!

I don't know why I am still together with her
She sells herself to the highest bidder
then come and whisper sweet nothings to my ears
at night
because she knows that's when I am most vulnerable
and I always fall for her

She knows that I have had many before her
and many now that we are together
and that I always tell her that tonight was the last night
I need to grow up
Take ownership of myself
and BLOODY STOP tip toeing around at night
with tying tides storming and tormenting my gut
tangling themselves in stomach
leaving me craving
a touch
a feel
an adrenaline pump
and a release

She knows where to touch me
How to touch me
How to make me feel special
Loved
Appreciated

But the problem with her is that she is expensive to maintain
she doesn't ask
but she lends herself with contents from my wallet
knows all my pins
and when the cards are empty
she knows where to get my hidden stash
And once she is sure I am broke
She leaves me for better men

But once I have money again
I go running back to have her panties down

She is a bitch okay
But she understands me
That's why I will draw a line of her
And have her have her way in in me... even tonight