Despair at it's finest

I sit here in my room listening to the angered screams of unloving parents. Yet again alone. I call this hell hole my home but, can it truly be called that? Please I beg of you take me back, back to an easier time back to when you were still in my timeline. Back when you gave a shit. Back before you decided that leaving was an easy fix.

That leaving would solve all of our problems. If only you could have seen me fall. Every night was a battle I fought with myself. I cried for hours recalling your kindness, your smile, your laugh. My big brother was gone and my will to live smashed. Like glass smashed by a rock thrown astray. I am useless like a bird without a flock. I was there for you at a drop of a hat. You abandoned me, stabbed me in the back.

Now my heart is full of bullet holes from your pistol of lies that can never be filled. Yet that love I have for you could not be killed no matter how hard I try I could not escape my mind. These demons convinced me that I was the cause. For months all I did was drop my drawls for any man who showed false love and care.

They dropped for any man who said he'd be there. I hoped you come to save the day but, all I got was pain and endless shame. You threw me away like trash, how could you do me like that? Please I wish you'd come back but life don't work like that