Secret #2

I thought about writing a poem but instead I'm telling you a story. I think of words to say but yet those words are hidden. I am sad but yet not depressed. I'm a freak but yet so normal. I'm a nighttime star but yet I'm without a light. I see but can't believe. I try but yey give up. I trust but yet I'm alone. I'm unselfish but yet I break things. I'm not here to say some lines. Because the truth is even now I'm wasting my time. Not because I need attention but because I fear isolation. I wish I had an answer but instead I got nothing. I don't have a damn idea on what to do or who i am meant to be. I'm not a hero. I'm not a great man. I'm not someone to look up to. I'm not a leader. I'm not the daring knight. Instead I'm like Merlin in the TV show Merlin. Not an unknown hero but someone who is afraid to let other's see their gift. I don't know my gift but I don't try to achieve. I stay away from the spotlight because I'm too afraid to be known. But yet I cry every day wishing I had a better life. I don't really have friends. I don't have a girlfriend. I am not that comfortable inside my own family. I'm afraid of hurting everyone I touch so instead I ruin my life. I want to make a difference and have a sense of purpose and a sense of direction but I expect nothing good so I run away from the hopes in my life. I fear losing it all and so I have nothing at all. I'm a coward but yet I'd give my life if you'd ask. That's my story. That's my reality. That's what I truly know and that's what I have always believed.