Holly the Uber Driver – Dream Story

Holly the Uber Driver                                                  
                                                   
     Holly my hairstylist becomes an uber driver to make extra cash while her studio is closed due to the virus.                                            
     One day she is driving me around town. I ask her, “Can you drive me without a destination just to get out of the house?”                                          
     She grins and giggles, “No, because I’m so gorgeous and sexy you might read the special favor as flirting and get a crush on me. I’m a confirmed bachelorette.”                                          
     “Roll me slow as molasses to nowhere, baby. Your back seat is the address for this trip.”                                          
     “If you don’t stop I’ll let you walk home.”                                          
     “Then you won’t get paid.”                                          
     “It never was all about money with you, John.”                                          
     “Just as my hair didn’t need those trims every two weeks.”                                          
     “After a month your eyebrows got so shaggy they could have been braided. They rivaled Herman Munster’s”                                          
     “Most generation x folks wouldn’t even get the Munster’s reference. I love being in the company of someone who gets it.”                                          
     “John, do you want a good haircut when this thing is over?”                                          
     “Oh, I didn’t mean to imply you are as old as me. No doubt you saw the show on nick at nite in reruns.”                                          
     “Just don’t compare me to Lily Munster that vampire wife of his. My incisors are no bigger than a normal woman’s. And the only time my mouth looks like it feasted on blood is after eating pizza.”                                          
     “I love conversations that have no particular goal and just flow like traffic on roads less traveled.”                                          
     She says, “What happens when the road reaches a dead end?”                                          
     “We back out nice and slow and move on.”                                          
     “That is what I did with my ex-husband. Getting unstuck was trickier by far than falling in love.”                                          
     I ask, “Where do we go from here?”                                            
     “Oh, John, I’ll get you where you need to go.  Let me take you to the north woods where there are more trees than people. There social distancing is as easy as picking a spot far enough apart not to catch a bug but near enough to make out with words.”                                
     “When I was young that cathedral of pines was my church.”                                
     “When we get there, I’ll take you to the best swimming hole in the state. The rush of a waterfall will drown out our voices. Since the virus forbids pressed lips we’ll share a kiss of beams from the same moon on our bare skin.”    
     “Some people would consider that a pipe dream. But I find it fascinating.”    
     “Do you mean I’m interesting as a case study in insanity?”    
     “Of course not. I would never put you under the microscope.”    
     She replies, “The door locks are child proof. Only I can let you out. If you say you never want to see me again and could never love me then you are free to go.”    
     “But the truth is I love the mad ones.”    
     “Then you do consider me crazy.”    
     “You are the sanest person I’ve ever met. Now please you can unlock the doors. I do love you. Take me north to where the wild earth beckons.”    
     “Next stop is God’s country where Baptist punch isn’t an alcoholic beverage just like what Bill and Monica did wasn’t sex.”