Anxiety

I was in a rush
it all blurred into
one
      long  
                  day
and me going in vicious circles
smirking at me
carefully listening
I was in a bubble
             endlessly changing colours
catching the sun
                rain drops falling
                                      down
                                         my    c h e e k s
itching my numbness
I wanted to get somewhere... do something... meet someone...
I wanted the bubble
                            to BURST
pop like a ready made popcorn
and then burn till  
the ashes
I could feel the burning smell
it felt safe
I was where I wanted
                             to be
in a rush looking  
                   over my shoulder
I expected to see hope...
                          ...waving and smiling at me
I expected to see kindness...
                           ...embracing me
in the end
       I  
             choked