Can't feel a thing

Things are getting better...aren't they? We are no longer fighting.
We talked it out,that's great. I'm happy we figured this out.
But I never expected "us" to fight like that. We used to be like two peas in a pod.
My feelings have changed,or maybe I'm just accepting them now instead of trying to feel something else.
I know I'm not in love,why can't I be happy with you? Why can't I feel the same,so am I just going to string you along until another fight happens or until I get bored?
 That's not fair to you,and is it wrong I think of her more than I should?
Her soft sweet face and wonder what it would be like to kiss h-
Wait No!
I am yours, I shouldn't think like that. Am I a terrible person?
Have I finally cracked on the inside like glass does when taking a violent blow?
When I kissed you..I didn't feel sparks. No warm feeling. No electricity.
Just lips upon my own. Why can't I just be in love with you?
Yes,you can turn out to be the person I hate the most.
But I have seen the softer side of you,the sweeter one.
The one that reminds me of why I kept trying for so long.
I'm putting more into this than you (or most people) think.

But I feel hollow,like I've been gutted like a fish and all that's left is the skin.
 But tell me..do you think I'm a horrible person for this?