deepundergroundpoetry.com
INSTRUMENTAL
Published 2nd Jun 2020
| Edited 6th Jun 2020
Author's Note
Photo by Stephen Giles on Scopio, used with permission.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 2
reading list entries 0
comments 10
reads 1053
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
2nd Jun 2020 5:18pm
I love this image. Especially since I am a musician. But I wonder if that last line could be....better.
You created this elegant image through the whole thing and then get to the end and use language that feels a bit out of place.
Convinced they have touched something
alive, vibrating, fiery
Or something like that.
But even if you leave it as is, it is a well done poem.
You created this elegant image through the whole thing and then get to the end and use language that feels a bit out of place.
Convinced they have touched something
alive, vibrating, fiery
Or something like that.
But even if you leave it as is, it is a well done poem.
2nd Jun 2020 5:19pm
2nd Jun 2020 5:31pm
How's about:
My nerves are tingling
Startled to have found such
Sustaining resonance
?
My nerves are tingling
Startled to have found such
Sustaining resonance
?
2nd Jun 2020 5:37pm
2nd Jun 2020 5:45pm
2nd Jun 2020 5:48pm
Stick this in Missy’s erotica (no mess) or whatever it’s called. It’s delightful!
2nd Jun 2020 5:45pm
2nd Jun 2020 6:08pm
3rd Jun 2020 3:14am
3rd Jun 2020 3:20am
